Comparing Condoms #1

because of the inflation of oil prices, tightening of fiscal policies and stupidity of the politicians, we as individuals have to save our own ass, awaken from the falsies of trusting the twilight zone welfare policies, it's time to be a responsible individual to be financially independent. these days we need to be very cautious in our spendings, especially on essential daily activities that we engage in such as muff diving or ethanol intoxication.

things that we use everyday are the main sources of savings, such as composite LATEX materials made of proteins, alkaloids, starches, sugars, oils, tannins, resins and gums - it's good to know not all condoms are made the same, let's begin the first journey of thrifty life style:












first and foremost, we need to be careful when it comes to brands, we may think multinational companies do better condoms, but we may be very wrong. look at the quality of the instruction sheet, they are clearly difference in terms of color, design and presentation concept. tell me who can resist such marketing effort!! DUREX's statment is so weak compare to the more sleezy theme of PLAYSAFE, DUREX think this is a tour map put in the hotel receptionist counter "guide to Pahang Darul BJ" - so lame!

Verdict:
PLAYSAFE - multicolor, dynamic and horny slogan *WINNER*
DUREX - plain color, less effort in design, weak slogan

Who to Vote for?

Ask me who will I vote for?

answer is trivial.

Politicians dressed up like this
to draw more votes

people bother to do graffiti on political billboard

and - the police catches no one

Lanterns are put up using my tax money,
but they bought lanjiao quality and
10% doesn't work before even CNY ends

Why obasan Ah Poh has to work in pasar malam,
unless this job gives her 2 millions income or
the economy is just bad

lastly, this fucking pack of junk food
costs RM2.50 in pasar malam.

.

.

.

tell me who should i vote for this time?

Chinese New Year Ended

So let me recall how's my CNY

Jam like hell

Eat like pig

clubbing like mad cow

get laid (unsuccessfully)

ended up stay home watch TV

next morning karaoeke

gone home realise goldfish died

because no one remember to feed em

Bunch of Ass Holes

i wonder why children toy industry desingers starts to pay attention to small details such as putting assholes on kiddy rides.

Valentine Fight With Father

valentine was so lame. the restaurant deco is really hand made, cut out from what we used to call in highschool "manila card". they thought it's creative, but just annoys me. and lame enough, all their servings on valentines comes with 2 straws. hey fuckers, i am sitting alone and don't you see i don't have any BITCHES with me!? are you trying to make fun out of me!?

but it's ok, normally valentines we have two kinds of people, first are those got dates and having some romantic activities out there somewhere. 2nd are those who can't get laid and had to stay home pretend bz praying to some Chinese god during this festive season. and i got a call from my friend listened to some of her bitchings, because she just argued with her father - again, 84th times this month

the issue is simple - father don't like her dating a good poor man, rather wanted her to date with ugly old rich doctors. the family arranged 600 match making sessions for her and all the candidates are doctors and lawyers only. the daughter asked "why you all only want me get married to doctors only meh?" the parents answered "yes!"

let me think how she could have answered in a more professional manner.

"why must be doctor?
daddy you are also not a fucking doctor
why mommy will marry ass hole like you?"

am I not creative?

Too Expensive for Edison Chen's Bitches

Lately there has been so many scandals that surround these big deal celebrities and provided us such a juicy topic to talk about over long holidays. Earlier New Year we talked so much about Dr. Chua about his penis size and how stupid he was to screw in same room and same hotel over and over again

And now, for this Chinese New Year and we have more celebrities to gossip about: Gillian 钟欣桐,Rara 颜颖思, 陈自瑶,BoBo 陈文媛 & Candice Chan-陈思慧. and this time is more juicy, becuase we expects 1200 photos to be released in no time, and the rumors says some fuckers behind the scene is ready to release them batch by batch......and that is so marketing-wise ensuring the public can continue to bitch about this matter until labor day.

So, this round what'r the hottest topics that most of us talked about:

QUESTION NO#1
is the guy a really good fuck?
he literally sapu-ed the big name
bitches the business!

QUESTION NO#2
Celebrities have no problem taping
their own sex act?
at least i don't
(not even masturbation,
let alone doing a blow job
or muff diving)

QUESTION NO#3
The biggest issue

Most talked about

Best-est of all
Mother of curiosities
Question of the century
Mystery of the galaxy
Myth of the crotch-ing tiger
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

is this too expensive for these celebrities?

ref: http://syokkahwin.com/blog/2008/02/07/edison-chen-bobo-cecilia-chung-gillian-cheung-scandal-sex-pictures-videos/

I Was Robbed During Chinese New Year

early in the morning on the bright new daybreak of Chinese new year, i sense the fragrance of newism and diminishing feeling of tranquility. hence i decided to grab my purse and spend some good bux at a nearby shopping mall

i am very happy to see families with smiling faces and holding hands together having joyous family breakfast and some lined up lovingly to the family karaoke. i suddenly feel that the season is full of hopes and energies and can't stop thinking how great this year can be for this country which i loved, honored so much for it's equality of ethnic rights, freedom of speech, transparent election system and honest politicians we have.

like any other unfortunate incidences, i bumped into a scam, which is disguised in great advertisements, huge marketing, media publicities - mother fucking tittie ass rimmed New Year Movie big time assholic "CJ7" - i walked to the counter, paid RM7 for it and spent the worst 1 hour of my life time and i walked out from the theater before the movie ends. i am not sure how the fuck show ends, but it spoils Chinese new year, it spoils the ecology of pacific ocean and it spoils the balance of Yani and Lingam energy of Cecelia Cheung's black forest.

CJ7 - it is a daylight robbery, great scam fuck, as good as a sumo wrestler performing a tittie show in Hooters. fuck CJ7, fuck Stephen Chow, fuck the retarded girl trying to act the role of a boy and fuck the movie's licensee and the cinema's cleaners too. why the movie is so sick fucked:
1. it's not comedy, it's a crap show with some funny scenes
2. it's intended to be a movie about fatherly love, but poorly directed
3. it's not a Sci-Fi movie, because the alien is not cute nor scary

this mutant blend rojak story is written by Stephen Chow - here is how it goes: poor father brought home an alien child from a dump site for his kid, it performed miracles in three ocassions, to solder 3 cables of a stand fan, to make fresh a rotten apple, to ressuract steven chow whom died in an accident. the alien died because overused his power and then the poor kid was so enlightened and decided to study hard.

the ending.... i don't know, fuck the ending and fuck RM7 for this movie.

Chinese New Year Sucks

"gong xi gong xi, wish you a prosperous rat year" "ding dong.... you've got a present, it's new year, wish you and your family good health and long live " ...... dear 45 friends whom sent me SMS greetings on the same day, thank you & pls get great fuck in this great festive season too. Let me be honest what kind of greetings I would really like to hear "dear mother fucker, wish you big tits, big dick, tight pussy, more fuck and get laid 8 days a week" i tell ya, that is truly happy Chinese new year.

Who says Chinese new year must be happy one. can we tolerate some sick ass remain lonely, depressed, sickened and angry about everything except being able to erect during this lovely season? fire crackers were noisy and annoying at night, food stalls were closed and no food for kitchen-illiterate jack asses. if you like holidays, please call me out for sepuku suicide party - i need it.

u feel so sux when turn on the MSN and all your friends with lovely CNY tag lines were all offline but they did leave behind some lovely message like "happy CNY"... ("this is for you mofo who stays at home without work to do and lonely playing MSN"). when you see them offline, you wonder are they out there having party, busy visiting friends and relatives, or maybe they are one of the victims that were killed during road accidents. i certainly don't care, because i have too many of them, in fact too many people on this planet is bad for ecology. as long as their ghosts don't come back and harm me. fuck them, and let them all die and stop sending me wedding invitation card to justify your legal fucking activities.





but sometimes it's really funny, because holiday is when you started to realize yourself being so negligence over little things in your house. like your drawers are full of rubbish, people leave behind panties in front of your house and your letter box is no more red and actually had turned green.

besides spring cleaning, you can also enjoy reading lots of good CNY publications especially those with bitches holding two balls with adorable smile on their faces. sometimes i do wish people with exceptional supernatural eye sight like me can get a job in the press agencies just to do screening on potentially obscene public reading materials.

i feel much better now, vomiting my evil thoughts during this great season after highly intoxicated by alcohol, now maybe i can start to be little bit more sensible and extend my greetings to all of my love ones whom has not died in car accidents or ramped over by female cow on their ways back to hometown visiting their be-hated relatives.

gong xi fa chai,
long live
more anal sex
and say tak nak to
premature ejaculation

Mega Ranger Kick Ass!

since i broke up with my 1st japanese girlfriend Seiko Matsuta 2 decades ago, i have given up japanese shows unless they multiple scenes of mega tits. but this one has little bit of mega as well, hence i deceided to give it a try, maybe it will make me recall some sweet moments during my 1st love. this movie is called "MEGA RANGER" vs ..... Ha...Re...N...Jia.... some shit like that, probably if i refer back to my old jap-eng dictionary i can figure it out.

the first scene was quite violent it shows an absolutely inappropriately apportioned dinosaur riding a bike trying to ramp over some mother fucking drop out students, because they got some shitty treasure or things like that with them.

wala....the sohai is so inaccurate and not able to run over any of them. look at the jack ass at the right corner, his posts is so lovely like telling the dinasour "you never catch me... ne ne ne"


and you can tell why i just love watching japanese movies, espeically they have school bitches on short skirts.....

and nope, the dinosaur is not as sick as some of you, he didn't stop by and rape the bitch, mainly because this is absolutely PG13 movie (but they tolerate white panties appearance). this silver ranger asshole suddenly appears on another absolutely inappropriately apportioned bike trying to save these bitches and horn some muffs.
tew nia xing.... that's how two "GALAXY SUPERHERO" fights.... with their fucking FISTS!!!

NIA MA @()#*@()##@&#@(# how the fuck a bike rider can kick another biker on his face? this is absolutely Ripley's Believe it or Not. someone gotta put this on American's Funniest Home Video and put on a debate on Opra Crabfree show.


ok.. as usual, the dinosaur died miserably (aka. disappears along with some fire works made in china)


i tell you, this is more enjoyable than watching National Treasure or Rambo 4.
Ganbate !