Sex Service - International Prostitutes

''halo, i saw ur advertisement got Japanese girl ah?"
"which one, yellow pages or flyers on the lamp poles"
"eh... not really on paper, but hand written kind... anyway, got Japanese girl to fuck or not?"
"not this month, lately hard to find stock, visa is difficult, what about others?"
"i saw u say also got Korean woman? are they good"
"bos, up to you, if you boring want to try, sure it will be fun geh. but not cheap i tell you ok?"
"can i bargain with the prostitute?"
"hey, do you bargain with doctor or not? this is considered health service"

"ok, but i dont know Korean, how to communicate?"
"don't waste time la, buka baju then straight start fucking, you only have 1 hour ok, if not i will surcharge you"
"hey, must communicate one, if not how to enjoy"
"bos, do you communicate with chicken? you think you are doing "team building" or "vendor -supplier communication program meh"
"cannot la, no feel how to get erection? later end up fingering her only, then i ask her to pay me meh. or you teach me some Korean words la, you Oh Kuei Tao sure know how to speak"
"tew, you think i teach in Erican meh, you customers very mafan one these days, ok i teach you few korean words, the rest you jaga sendiri ok, don't call me during sex"
"kool, your customer service is better than Maxis call centre, you are willing to walk an extra mile, spit it , im writing down!"

"in korean, you say hello as "sawadekap"
"ok"
"korean say: bye bye is "sayonara"
"korean say: you have big tits is "Annyong ha shimnikka"
"korean say: i got small penis is "Annyong Mm zho Dek
"korean say: let's have sex is "siimii sayor"
"korean say: you have smelly crab is "rosak sayor"
"enuf ok, all women the same just go in and fuck ok"

"same meh?, i thought different?"
"two mountain one tunnel, what the fuck do you think got different! you are big joker!!!"
"tew lei la, if all the whores are the same why you want to charge me Korean more expensive than Japanese?"
"different mah!"
"you just say they are the same?"
"uh.....i mean.... you have to change woman sometimes, so have to pay different...."
"i fuck your mother tonight, tomorrow fuck your sister, same or not? also woman?"
"wah. like that also you want, take them pls, they are like sumo wrestlers anyway"
"i charge for throwing rubbish"
"nia ma....... hei you...... helo?..... anyone there??"

Vegetable is Expensive

since when vegetable has become so expensive to give me little bit more than this.

She had Sex on the Beach, Ultimate Orgasm & Screwed

she had Sex on the Beach

then she had Screw Driver


lastly she had Ultimate Orgasm
.
.
.
.
but she's sleepy & want to go home
therefore
i had to masturbate in the kitchen tonight

New Horror - Penis Eater

Tired of porn lately and decided to engage myself into a series of horror movie watching campaign. i have bought myself 11 horror movies which some are as new as 1408 and some is as old as Lord of The Ring part II (it's not horror movie meh? never watch yet)

BLACK SHEEP, is a good movie, the story line is new and very explicit. basically it talks about some mutated sheep under an experiment lab by dumb lame ass scientist in a tulan countryside mountain. these sheep eat human and some bitten by them will turn into sheep-man mutant.

the story has taken "horror" movie to a new realm where not only it portraits innocent sheep to be threatening horrifying object, things were quite cruel and also gross. it has scenes of bloody fleshy and disintegrated bodies through out the show. also it has one of the unprecedented best sex scene in big screen movies i ever watched - the fella fucked a sheep.







the highlight of the show is at the ending where the evil character has his penis bitten off and stretched to arm length before getting chewed up to death. look at this face, he is yet enjoyable yet miserable having the weiner crunched. the special effects were impressively done, the penis even has green colored arteries and almost can see the dick head.

the ending is explosive too, where the sheep fart caused a massive explosion and killed all the mutants. walla! sex, nudity, beastality, gruesome, violent, bloody.... this is new breakthrough in big screen.

Where Are My Old Cameras & Handphones?

I was attending Dr. Yamafakto Asholto lecture on KAIZEN just now @ crown prince hotel. it was a valuable lesson because i was very impressed with how fuckers can bullshit and make lan of money out of businessman.

the sohai spent 1/2 hour explain to us that: "改 'kai' implies 'change'' and 善 'zen' means 'improve to be good'. therefore KAI ZEN means 改善 means improve to be better. and this Japanese wisdom synchronizes with the Chinese philosophy as GAI SHAN, "改 'Gai' implies 'change'' and 善 ('shan') means 'improve to be good'. therefore GAI SHAN 改善 means improve to be better and synonym to KAIZEN in Japanese.

hey jack ass, listen to my Aeroplane's Malaysia wisdom too:
屌means Tew; 你 means Lei , 屌你means intercourse; 仆街 means fall on street;含撚 means eat banana; 老母 means your mother. so when a Chinese say 屌你仆街含撚老母 YOU ARE FUCKING BULLSHIT LIAR TRYING TO CON MY $ BY TALKING COCK ON THE STAGE!!!

anyway, i was very awaken when he say "im gonna dell yiu ehnother visdom of Nihorn, which iz faive Ass". and i am very good at asses and applied this piece of whoriental wisdom immediately at the back of my mind:

• Seiri (整理): Separating. (as in arrange the pillow after sex)
  
• Seiton (整頓): Sorting. (to separate my underwear and the woman's)
  
• Seisō (清掃): Shine. (to wipe the cum of her face)
  
• Seiketsu (清潔): Standardizing. (to rinse mouth with Listerine after diving the muff)
  
• Shitsuke (躾):Sustaining (try to stay hard on for 2nd round)

that night i did went home and do some housekeeping and i realize i have this fuck much of electronic gadget's boxes lying on the rack. the whole idea is not about how to keep this stuff, thing that puzzles me was..... how much i have spent on these shits. and most importantly.... i cant find none of the contents, i.e. phone and cameras....where have i thrown them to....?


can i Ebay these boxes?



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/5S_%28methodology%29
http://cache.viewimages.com/xc/71781358.jpg?v=1&c=ViewImages&k=2&d=17A4AD9FDB9CF193CC300C081D9F47004BA22924CF79F036DC74F12364097226A55A1E4F32AD3138

I So Missed You Since You Left

my heart is broken and souls are tormented. i don't know how i lose you and maybe someone stolen you from me. we have been together for so long and i could smell you even from miles away, and it wasn't the Dior Addiction or CK2U, it was ur natural cent that draws madness out of me.

remember how we washed each other and the feeling of the soap running through us, the feeling is still so real even if i think about it now. baby i missed you, and the feeling of the perfect fabrics on you is torturing my sleepless nights.

you never complained despite i had a sweaty day and smelt like soiled napkins. you accompanied me through good times and bad times and bed times too. they say we are so un-matched, like flower on a cow dung or tampon in the asshole, but you know i don't care, in the name of blind love.

how do i live on without you encapsulating my crotch and keeping my testicles and penis in tact. i wished to cry out loud in the radio station and hope someone can find you back for me. i have no idea how i lose you and when it happened. i called everyone i know but non of them able to give me any clue that cheers up my lonely heart.

what did i do wrong to deserve loosing you

what have i not done enough to make you stay

what can i do to find you

maybe this blog can somehow lead me to you

i wished, any of the reader may have seen you they can contact me

be it India or antarctic or even the deepest part of the ocean, i will find you

i hope you will not get angry because i put up your photo here

i do all the crazy things just to let you know... i love you , please come back to me






http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.antithesiscommon.com/Issue2/large/800_Licudine_Broken_Heart.jpg&imgrefurl=http://callmekatrin.blogspot.com/2007_07_01_archive.html&h=701&w=720&sz=128&hl=en&start=12&um=1&tbnid=q-5xCU0JxKpSRM:&tbnh=136&tbnw=140&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dheart%2Bbroken%26svnum%3D10%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26safe%3Doff%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-US:official%26sa%3DN

Rescue Broken Cork

nope i didn't spelled it wrong, no one has a broken cock, it's cork. this is a story how i saved a 15 years old Napoleon Lafayette. this is a boring guide, especially for those people who drink Brandy every 3 meals like me. but i have tried searching the net for similar type of instruction and there isn't any. perhaps thats the problem of internet, we can find guides to animal sex, coffee enema or nipple electrification - but not how to handle broken bottle cork.

I had this bottle for long and just never bother to open it - until lately i ran out of XO, VSOPs. this is an extremely uncle brand and most of you whom have never seen black & white TVs in ur lifetime may not even heard about it, needless to say they sell it in modern ecstasy joints. i knew the cap will snap if i open this, hence i turned it upside down to have the cork soaked for 1 week, which is typically most asshole out there will teach u the same, but it doesn't work - at least for a mega aged bottle like mine. but the theory works though, the cork is indeed soaked, but not deep and soft enough to have it removed without breaking.

So i have to do it the modern way, remove the broken cork with a cork screw (RM 18), it looked easy in the photo but if you have never used it before, practice it on some Styrofoams or cardboards and try to understand how it works. its kinda funny because the two legs open up wider and wider as u screw down the top spindle deeper and deeper - just like sex.

After the broken cork is being removed, clean up the inner bottle opening with wet cloth wrapped over ur finger and preferably not any genital parts that produces unnecessary secretion. aged cork tend to leave stains on the bottle neck - not sure if they are safe to be consumed, but i don't eat anything that pronounces as "cork".

Now u have two options to get a replacement cap (off course u have to think about this part of the process before even opening up the bottle).

a> get a cork cap from any pub around the corner, just make sure its clean and new. long as the size fits, stuff the bugger into your old bottle. if it doesn't fit, u can try use a blade to trim the cork to fit in. as in my case, the Hennessy VSOP cap i had it from another bottle fits perfectly to this Napoleaon.

b> if you are as fuzzy as me, and cannot tolerate Napoleon bottle with a Hennessey cap, do like i do. I got myself a dildo like cork replacement from Jusco which only cost me RM9 - for Three x 3 colors !

and walla!! it looked so lovely.
and now tell me which woman wouldn't like to
make love to a piece of art like this.

http://gwally.com/avatars/photos/penis_x_ray_150.jpg

Toyota Vios 2007 Review - Ideal for Bitches

my mother went to pray to the god of durian tree yesterday and she paid RM5 to a dark skinned old Chinese woman to read my future, i wasn't too sure why my mother do such a weired thing but anyway i given her the circumference of my testicle and number of toes i have on each side of my feet. the fortune teller say i have been wrongfully educating the public lately and i should do some good deeds to improve my karma. therefore i decided at least for few days i should try to post something more decent,more legal and use less vulgar words such as tit, cock, dick, pussy and fuck. let me write about my new car and how it performs @ 160km/hr


Despite the fact this is the off the shelf model tunning with 14'' rim and commercial tires, handling at high speed at 140km/h is still considered good without the feel of loosing gravity and wobble like Malaysia made crappy cars, the best part is - still quiet and i enjoyed my ride accompanied by G-String .... by Bach. tried to ground it to 160km/h and things are still manageable and i think can hit 180 no problem but i dont push the off shelf vesicles too extreme. because i still have not done anal sex in life, so i decided not risk my life now and just stay 140kmh as limit

SPACIOUS... not really, it is Vios, and if u are 9 feet tall like me, go and get a Camry or drive a Bus, this car is for short sissy software engineers or office ladies with small tits. but there are few things about SPACE management that Vios engineers put enough effort into it and should be considered as one of the reasons to buy this. it shows clearly fits only 2 pairs of shoe. MAX.. but off course, my shoe is size Euro 45 or UK11, so if your are like typical bitches out there with feet size half of mine it can fit 4 pairs easily - good news ain't it?

For some of u who likes to have BIG BIG BIG compartments to keep things....there is none.. because its s SMALL car ok....remember! but instead.... they give u LOTS of small compartments, all in all there are ELEVEN , SAP YAT, 11, SEBELAS of them. out of which, 3 cup holders (which i use as coin storage), and the side pocket on the doors is shaped to hold 500ml mineral water bottle - why the Japaneses think Vios buyers can be that thirsty!?














lastly, only would like to highlight few more important observations before i end this, because if it's not for sin redemption i wouldn't write this sort of lame car review blog:
a> do you realize the air outlet / grille is............ SAME AS MyVi !!! (well they are same company anyway... sharing of parts...... Just In Time...... Kaizen..... Cost Saving..... deja vu.....)
b> it has a lovely hook at the back seat if u love to da bao chicken rice or curry noodle on way back.... just perfect
c> the back seats has something PERFECTLY new.. the floor is flush without the hump. so ladies wearing skirt has NO MORE FEAR sitting in the middle
d> for short bitches out there..... look at the lever there... one of them is for you to adjust the HEIGHT..... isn't that very perfect car for WOMAN?!!!
e> if u try to horn chick by suddenly pulling out rubber out of no where - this is not the car. all the open compartments are not designed to hide condom boxes, so u still have to drive through 7-11 under urgent circumstances.

if you wonder why i would drive such a woman-ish car.... it's a company car... tew.......
when can i be given a S350 .........:(

Suck & Fuck for RM35

i've given up reading news paper since standard 3 because i realize people who read the social column don't get rich but people who follow up on the lottery and horse race section of the paper may made it someday. and to me, i have decided not going to spend a dime on any reading materials that sensors pubic hair and cleavage.




yesterday after i masturbated over the entertainment column of the News Straits Time, i accidentally spilled over some sticky glue on the economy pull out section. as i was cleaning up the mess before my mom finds out, for the 1st time in my life since kindergarten i read the fucking bogus MATRADE report saying "consecutive trade surplus since Nov 1997." if u want to understand the meaning of trade surplus, basically its like a life of a man - ejaculate more than he receives. and if u don't know what is MATRADE , basically it stands for Full of Shit Agencies Justifies Fucked Ass Economy Planning.

the report says we have achieved in 2006 total of RM588B export whilst imports were at RM480B that giving us 100B of surpluses indicating we are net export nation - as if that means anything good. Contributing industry sectors are like E&E, steel manufacturing, rubber and little bit from oil and organic activities. the trend continued up to 2007 and looking good - they fuck say saja.

but the problem is to me these figures are as meaningless as my armpit hair. because the Billions or Millions the country has reportedly achieved has no positive impact on me in any practical means - i still pay expensive petrol, cars are never cheaper, food are expensive, 20cents cream roti is now selling 50cents & size is 1/2 of what years ago i had. indian roti bike seller is no more visible and kids are selling tissue paper @ jalan alor to make a living. office millage claim is still 55cents/km since 10 years ago, salary increment is barely matching the inflation.

to make the matter worst..... sex has never been so cheaply sold i just found out the latest rate as follows:
ps: it says too "guaranteed satisfaction, if not, change u a better one"

Sex Service - Penile Enlargement Pills

it has been very long while didn't have sex. but i think its a good thing after all because some say accumulating more sperm in the testicle can improve the protein supply to the brain and have chances of getting the genitals grow bigger because the protein will enter the penis via reverse osmosis principle. all thought it is the 3rd day no sex for me, i reckon its right time to have one at least just to check on the functionality of the dick as part of the penile preventive maintenance plan.

i then decided to walk over my neighbor's house and look for Jenny: "hey morning Jenny" "wat's up Ron" "can i see your pussy?" "ok, here u go" .....and oh damn i cant get a hard on.....!!"hey, mind if i shave ur pussy?""seriously if my mom finds out he will castrate u, do it quick ok!".. .and shit i cant get a hard on either.then i continued to try on other pets like parrot, turtle, dog and camellia - my past life flashes through my mind i sense that i may suffer from erectile dysfunction. because the normal me has no problem getting a boner just looking at furry animals.

i took a walk to the bank @ pJ state near standard chartered bank wanted to withdraw some money to donate to charity organization AIM Healthcare Foundation hoping to recoup some good karma for better penis. then i bump into this lovely advertisement that i think may able to give me some answers, it says "miracle manhood medicine : 1 pill immediate effect, 2 months size increases" as usual to exercise my duty as a responsible sex curious citizen i called the number.


"hey, you sell sex pill?"
"no sir, not pill, its herb, 100% natural and no chemicals"
"after eat my girlfriend will happy?"
"guaranteed result, customers all have good feedback and some even say size increased 20%"
"will that make the user grow 3 testicles?"
"haha, no sir, you are humorous, so how many u want, now is promotion 30 for RM200 and buy 60 now can give u a suprize special gift"
"wat gift? your mother gonna give me a blow job or what?"
".... i beg ur pardon?.... "
"i don't want side effects like headache, stomach pain, migraine or irregular period"
"no worry sir, this are 100% natural ingredients, no side effects, but what u mean by irregular period?"
"i buy this for my gf, she say want to make her tits bigger"
"oh ... a....um.... well, we not sure about that, but we don't want to be responsible for applying this on woman, but you can try , just don't blame us for antyhing"
"hey fuck head, my problem is your problem. my gf is your wife"
"tew nia ma.... wat u say again?"
"hey, i have sex with ur wife, nothing to do with my mother, leave my parents out of this conversation, fuck old woman u nanti got bad karma then die with dildo in ur ass in a soiled toilet near Dataran Merdeka"
"chee bai lang, kanebu.... you also fuck my wife wat, my wife 46 already, you talk cock ah"
"who say i fucked ur wife, i just gaged her, i will never put my penis into used pussy and share the tunnel with a sohai like u"
"you becareful joker, i trace ur number and get gangster to chop ur head then u know"
"thats why i say you are sohai, this is public phone. bye bye"

http://brokekid.net/img/This_Cat_is_Shaved.jpg
http://www.texaschapbookpress.com/magellanslog101/probsmodsexuality/ricesizematters.jpg

Sex Service - Massage & Escort Girls

i hate jam, because it wastes my time, my money on petrol and i hate seeing cheap cars on the highway because they reminds me i am also the same poor bum like these lame asses. and worst is u often get nature calls in situations like this. i wanted to pee badly and i can feel the scrotum had shrunken very tightly and my penis was involuntarily getting unnecessary erection. i had to detour from the jam and swung by into the nearest petrol station.

as my usual urination ritual, i normally stand with legs wide open until both feet touches the side of the wall, unzip,carefully withdraw my wiener with my thumb and index finger carefully so that it doesn't scratch against the zipper to cause any unnecessary scars which is very hard thing to explain a damaged dick to my girlfriend and my mom. just after the stream of indigestible uric acid is vomited out from the urethra, i looked up the ceiling and search for more inspiration and recite my usual lucky chanting "omn... omn...omfg..." and i see sickly ugly vandalized water closet which given me an instant turn off and i almost lost my appetite to pee.

i hate using dirty filthy toilets because it reminds me of my bad experience getting caught by Sally's father when i lied to him bringing her to school library instead we were having discussion whilst exploring our sexual genital organs in the teacher's toilet. anyway, this waterhead of mine again take its own course and start searching for horny resources to blog and i saw this sticker on the wall:"NICE - Massage & Escort Services." i wonder who the cheap degraded ass people like to vandalize the wall and advertise such filthy shitty socially shameful advertisement of sex services publically. i wish these advertisers and the callers die with a dildo in their asses - I called the number and the conversation as follows:

"eh, helo, i saw ur advertisement saying got escort and massage service, how much and who are the girls ah?"
"are u police?"
"hey fuck no, I'm just a fucker"
"ok, we got Chinese, Indian, Malay, Philippine and Russian also, depends on ur budget and quality"
"eh. i got RM75 cash now only, what can i fuck ah?"
"tew... ok, i give u an Indonesian maid, but minimum RM100, i bring to this toilet and i will call u in 30 minute"
"ok thanks boss, but do u provide condom or not"
"condom extra RM10, or u just go buy from the shop in the petrol station, you cheap fucker"
"ok ok... hey, i want pretty and sexy one ok....."
"tew... RM100 want cheap want good, go fuck your sister ..."
"my sister is 65 years old already woh, u want meh...., ok, we exchange, u screw my sister then give me discount can ah.?? "
"@#)(@*&$ are u serious or playing a fool here? if i bring the girl and u don't want i will crush ur balls with my bare hand,你條仆街根本系度混吉屌你個陣咪捻口黑面 !"
" soli bos, just joking, so can faster or not, my wife waiting outside the petrol station in the car"
"ok. I'm nearby already... are u the owner of the red Proton Gen2 WXN 2298? "

"hello....?.... you there?.... hey.... hello?"

Resignation

its a bright sunny day, not because Josephine finally allowed me to anal her, but its more than just orgasm - this is my 4th time resigned from a company-in 3months. unlike the earlier cases where the boss fired me coz they say i slept wif their wives which i didn't, coz i still hold to 1dick 1pussy principle-i never do threesome. This time, my resignation has nothing to do wif my boss's wife, in fact it's suppose to be a great month because he had a new borne baby, but unfortunately the child looks like me and the husband was quite mad. But again i am innocent, just because a child has short dick doesn't mean it's mine - because penile disfigurement is not genetically inheritable you jack ass!

Anyway, i love to resign, you have great fun when u confidently drop the letter of resignation to the fuck head boss's table and the 1st time in your life u dare to tell the secretaries "you are such a whore!" also, you got to see all the fuck faces in your office like they are telling you "you mofo asshole dare to resign before i do, i wish u go out the office and get rolled over by a truck!". while waiting for the last day reporting to this lame office, you get exceptional office treatments too: your bosses given up talking to you, you ain't invited to any useless meetings, and even the tea lady also knew you will soon fuck gone hence no point serving u coffee. and yea, I don't clock in anymore bite me!

few other thing happens too. most of ur colleagues will be exceptionally concerned about u and kept wondering which sucker employer will hire a jack ass like me. Same goes to ur enemies,whom will try to reconcile wif u 30 second after they realize u resigned - just to hope u not going to become a bos sooner than them - and in just case u may , your new company has a good position to be filled by them. i say "hey sure, my new company needs a good cock sucker like you! give me ur CV."

but i do missed some good pretty colleagues whom had been feeding me well all this while and i really luv to wish them continue to grow in wisdom, salary and breast size. although they hv flat ass, but i had nice time visually raping them for so many years. i wish also they get good sex from real person someday and will never end up dating with any lame jerkoff like me.

Some were so sweet changìng skype and MSN remarks to indìcate their wishes and how grateful to have this asshole me leaving this office. I'm touched and 1st time ever in my life i have achieved orgasm in office and slimy tears fallen out from my one eye snake.
i cried simply bcoz for all the shit i have done on these chicks for so many years all i get is just a lovely cyber note and not even a hot kiss good bye?! let alone I'm dying in my heart to be offered 3 days 2 nights stay in their bedrooms... :( ....Farewell my love ones, although i be seeing bígger boobs women @new office, ì wìll remember u ladies whenever i see an airport runway. and pls call me when u run out of candidates for sex.

Why is it Called Blow-job and not Blow-work

As a responsible tax payer, i don't spend lavishly, and my late father told me negotiation is a good virtue. This morning I bargained with a prostitute and we argued about the service rendered yesterday night, all this happened in the morning because i took her home when Kelly went on her holiday to Kazakhstan, she say wanted to meet Borat's sister the 2nd most famous whore there. Initially i have no intention to engage into any business deal with this prostitute and i promised her we will be only playing chess and she overheard i mentioned playing her chest.

i told the prostitute blow job is part of the fucking service, so she shouldn't have charged me both separately. although she was kind enough to say cum on face is a bonus at no extra charge, but I'm certainly not a jackass easily get cheated by a cocksucker. but she argued on the basis that i got a short penis and she had to work twice as hard compare to ordinary 4inch ones. and i just cannot tolerate a businesswoman trying to compromise on quality because of customer's natural borne disabilities - where is her sense of Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR)?

i remember my MBA lecturer used to teach me this : if unable to convince her - Confuse her. therefore i told her " me is not going to pay you for blowwork unless its a blow job or blowski, and your blowsi was just a buntjob and worst than a gobbie!!". the idea worked and finally intellectual wins, she took the money and left, except shouted at my face"你笨柒咁鹹濕，睇死你冚家剷邀你老母戇尻尻!!.."i think she meant cbye (as in c u again, bye) . i am certainly not gonna be worried over curses by prostitutes neither considering she will bite my dick off the next time, because my father used to tell me ain't gonna pay the same pussy for same price twice.

just now while masturbating at my sister's room, i start to do my usual evening reflection to improve my bodily chi and try to achieve magnetic harmony with the universe's pussy wave. i sense the universal Yani inspired my inner Lingam and i think i have found the galactical wisdom which my grandmother didn't manage to tell me before she died of marijuana overdosed - "why do we called fellatio blowjob insted of blowwork?"

1. it sounds better : "baby gimmi a blowwork" "what? my homework?"
2. it looks better : in English, only word that has double "W" on it is WW2 aka world war 2 .
3. "job" carries meaning to the economy, it signifies labor, and considered as part of the GDP
4. where else "work" may means activities that don't have revenue, may mean a foolish free dumb labor commenced out of voluntarism or stupidity by a single digit IQ person
5. "job" is a career, and it carries hope : "i'm not going to continue doing this blowjob for the rest of my life" - says a whore

today i consider i lived my life to fullest, i managed to come out with this shit combining the triology wisdom of my weiner, brain and craps i learned in college - omn....

Entering the Right Toilet

I was again caught in a psychological dilemma, where a decision has to be made under critical circumstances, the choice between A & B will determine the consequences which one has to bear its responsibility and perhaps liabilities for long. if i have all the time luxury to decide, i would have done a better decision, which unfortunately like most of the other decisions in life , we just have to decide and move along. therefore i decided to choose entering male toilet this time.

Like our parents thought us we need to pay attention to fine lines, so fine that maybe no one would ever write about them. some people are particularly good at crapping shitty thoughts, especially when they are sited alone in a confined place with adequate aromatheraphical setup. that explains my why i am able to read fast, think quick and cum on time in the toilet. this time, with my years of experience, i was able to summarize the differences between female and male toilet.
Female toilet
- if entered wrongly into it you'll hear bitches scream
- you will find plenty of tissue papers on the floor, seat, cubicle, basin, bin
- you'll find a sanitary napkin bin in the cubicle
- the whole toilet smells fishy as dead crabs
- urine marks are all around the seat towards the front part
- all the seats were at down & closed position
- toilet seats has foot prints or shoe marks
- 1/2 WC are clogged
- explains the long queue (off course, guys wouldn't have entered wrongly if seeing the whores r lining up)
- woman flush before, during, after, right after, way after using the WC. (in case u r a guy in the cubicle & you hear this sequence, you are fucked)





Male toilet
- if entered wrongly into it you'll hear guys say to you "hey baby, lost ur virginity here just now?"
- you'll see urinal bowls
- you may find equally lots of tissue papers everywhere, but they are full of shit
- the toilet seats has shoe prints, hand marks
- urine marks are every where on the floor, cubicle, wall, handle, door handle and sometimes ceiling too
- toilet seats are cracked, broken, soiled
- door handles are missing, broken, replaced with chop stick, wire mesh
- walls are full of graffiti, diagrammatic on human genitals, intercourse positions and phone numbers of prostitutes
- 5/6 WC are clogged
- man urine without closing the door - and whistle loudly
- because of point #3, you see guys wiped their asses with hands and the wall ended up with lots of brownish finger prints (or black, depends on the freshness)





http://images.google.com.my/imgres?imgurl=http://blogs.ya.com/briefing/files/dirty_toilet.jpg&imgrefurl=http://blogs.ya.com/briefing/&h=225&w=186&sz=43&hl=en&start=9&um=1&tbnid=evw9FU_0R3JObM:&tbnh=108&tbnw=89&prev=/images%3Fq%3Ddirty%2Btoilet%26svnum%3D50%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26safe%3Doff%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-US:official%26sa%3DG
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http://www.arabictype.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/04/signage-arabic.jpg

Alpha Dumb Whores

Although not able to get laid to these bitches on October, but at least got to hear some honry stories from them. in order to protect the real persons' privacy their names are renamed to fake ones as per the De Vegas's GROs'.

24 years old Lucy has a degree in IT and now an executive in a design house. she stays with the boyfriend whom is 9 years older than her and doesn't have a fixed job. she pays the rent and utility in full and the guy does nothing except gets free fuck. lately the lame jackass too had some problem with his weiner, cant get hard and cum too fast.

35 years old professional financial planner Gigi married to a yak dick few years ago whom now doesn't work and she has been paying for the house mortgage which are under both of their names, and the car and everything except sperm. they live in separate rooms now in the same apartment and the guy says to divorce him he wants RM35,000 cash. once a while when he is hungry he call up the wife's mother if he can join them for dinner.

28 years old financial controller Anne had a boyfriend who earns 4 times lesser than her. all they do on normal days are stay home to watch pirate DVDs cause the boyfriend cannot afford any shit besides shaver. he then entered into some sohai MLM plan which require some capital - which girlfriend gave em few thousands.

Account boy moved into a 21 years old school girl YuFah's apartment but doesn't pay any shit. turned abusive and reluctant to move out threaten to burn the house & rape the dog.

35 years old Mimi is a successful sales manager but the husband was a bum. doesn't have a permanent job neither pays any bill or look after the daughter. stays home does nothing except digging his nose and scratch his fat ass.

45 year old coffee shop owner Susanne had to look after 3 outlets and 4 kids. the husband was/is/should be a floor tiller works on ad hoc basis without fixed income. he said to the wive just make sure bring home fixed income and sufficient for everyone to spend - includes his betting.
say these are 5% of women i knew in a month, that means likely half a million Malaysian woman are having the same fucked up boyfriend / husband out there!!!

love is blind,
but these women are fucking stupid too.

no work, no job, no $ no dick and get free muff - man, tech me how u did it?!


http://www.nvsh.nl/problems/pictures/impotenencePoster.jpg
http://www.boozetime.com/pictures/pic65.jpg
http://debian.fmi.uni-sofia.bg/~rady/fun/veselba/the%20perfect%20woman.jpg

The Right Guy for Me?

I quarreled with Kelly last night because she say i was cheating on her. i tried the explain the pubic hair found on my car was a set up by my neighbor's kids, I just don't understand why she still didn't believe me. the bitch was obviously quite mad and called me a "pig" then told her she's a cunt too, the argument went on until I stabbed her at the back which is a usual way to keep a woman quiet. As Yogi advises us, I then sit down and try to remember the essence of the conversation before we forgets..... these are the names that you call your love ones during moment of crisis:

man: Jerkoff, lame, pig, dog, poo, jack ass, wiener, wanger & one eye snake.
woman: Cunt, bitch, whore, foofoohuhu, camel & punani

Prof. Tok Kok once said: toughest decisions a woman can ever made, hierarchically speaking shall be:
3rd: swallow or spit ?
2nd: pierce the tits or tattoo the muff ?
1st : "is he the right guy for me ?"

but basically its no brainer issue here, good men are scarce since Ghandi died after he wrote the book "Karma Sutra & sea cucumber." just take a look around us, how many good men out there, in fact what is good man anyway. Statistics shown successful men are short, bald, fat and ugly. handsome man are typically gay, sissy and their asses leak. Man who doesn't cheat are having short dick, cum in 5 strokes or does lousy head job. tall man dies fast and stupid because less blood is pumped to the brain. Do an acid test, give me 3 reasons man is better than chicken........ you see, you cant think of any!

To think positive, this ain't bad news, because all men are pigs, so don't bother to waste ur time expecting anything more than these attributes from your lover: horny, lazy, snobbish, egoistic, stingy, dirty and sleep after cum. Like the Chinese says, expect less, the pain will be less. it is therefore important keep a dildo handy most of the time during sex, especially if you are with a Chinese boy. Like my grandmother used to tell me: "I fucked your grandpa's penis, but orgasm by my own finger!"

Don''t they get it? we fuck a lot because we cum fast! and practice make perfect therefore it is important for us to practice copulate other female out there! but this doesn't apply to women because there is no practice needed by female, their role in sex is just be a dead fish & fake orgasm.

I knew Kelly loves me despite me being a pig and i think that's great sacrifice for her to trust me with her life and allow me to be the only man in her soul. I had the greatest sex ever that nite with Joyce and i told her Kelly finally accepted who I am, let's threesome tomorrow with Sharon and don't it in my car this time.

http://www.wprasek.com/photos/2000-12-cp_xmasbash/images/Dead%20fish%20teeth.jpg
http://www.asianjoke.com/pictures/img/Uglywoman.jpg
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Deep Thought @ Toilet Bowl

I remember there was one lesson learnt in college while attending Prof. Nina Hartley's summer course:"Beginner's Guide to Anal Sex" which is to masturbate the night before sleep to avoid morning boner the next day. A.M. wooding is not really a big problem except it gives u unnecessary embarrassment wake up holding ur crotch on the way to toilet and lied to your mother you had a stomach pain, and the main issue here is it is extremely hard to perform precision urination with boner, you will be almost like performing B52 carpet bombing and gets 45% hit into the toilet bowl.

Last night i was sharing the room with my sister in law and her Labrador was occupying the toilet the whole damn next morning, so i had decided to kept the boner & drive to office soonest to pee. while waiting for the boner effect to diminish i had on option to masturbate or just wait for another 1/2 hour in the cubicle. then i realize some interesting signages there as if telling me don't pee in such bowing position which typically i do so when having a hard on. but then later i called in cik. Sulailah the big titted janitor to explain this to me, she say unless my weiner grows on the belly, this fucking sign is telling me don't play with the bidet if not it will shoot the shit out of me automatically.

Then i start to look around for other toilets and found more interesting signages in the WCs. This one here is telling us we shouldn't be dumping so many things into the toilet in 1 go - yes! we shall dump em one by one.

I started to identify the barang that it says we often dump into the toilet: bottle, cup, paper bag, plastic bag........ by the way, but what the fuck is this? songkok with 2 ear lobe? looks like the lame visors that KFC staff wears.

lately lots of government offices and parliament members suffer from leakages and bocoh, engineering wise and metaphorically. some reports says that most pipe bursts are caused by over pressured in pipelines clogged by sanitary napkins or we Cantonese say 姨妈巾, aunty towel, happy pad, blood sucker & CB mask. But i started to think why people want to throw stuff like that into the toilet bowl despite knowing clogging the toilet bowl doesn't do anyone any favor and the next fucker on board will gruesomely curse ur grandparent's reproductive organs. who wants to sit on a toilet bowl mixed with Red Sonja & green tea Kotex

Well besides the muff cap, occasionally too women flush down other stuff to the shit hole, includes their lingeries! BBC reported a big boobed cunt flushed down a pair of knickers and a D-D sized bra into the sewerage line at Darlington, it burst and caused a road to collapse then cost Northumbrian Water £15,000 to fix em up( that's about about equivalent to 2000 pairs of Victoria Secret Pink Pushup with Gel-Curve)... this proves ''big tit kills!"

I don't know why these woman do such crazy things. but i do know Man flushes craps down the toilet too: needle, dopes, grass, pills, condoms, used condoms, child and cigarettes (school kids ). So what about the soiled underwear say had a leaky asshole that day? Laura, we guys will just leave shitty pants the floor or the top of the water closet, some female janitor will eventually come and clean up the mess later.. ... so wat, bite me.


http://www.bikeiowa.com/uploads/links/1_morningBonerLogo.jpg http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/6766657.stm http://www.mesra.net/forum/index.php?showtopic=67261&mode=threaded, Md Deros, "Siasatan JKR mendapati bahan bergumpal punca aliran air tersekat @ Hospital Sultan Abdul Halim"