Book Review - "Karma Sutra"

Last night as i just came out from the brothel at Jalan Alor i bump into an angry mother scolding the son with her word of wisdom:"you can poor monetarily but not in knowledge! if you don't study well you will end up like these people!" I'm sure she didn't mean me but the whore upstairs - I am just an ordinary tax payer with extra money for the muff. But I wasn't angry, because that is a valuable lesson passed on from generation to generation as part of the 5000 years of Chinese wisdom. I was enlightened by the bitch's thought and I reckon should go to bookstore and get my self a book to read- for the 1st time since I left kindergarten.

The next day very unusually I woke up very early and left my house at 4p.m. to Booksamillion and decided to buy the book which I have been quietly masturbated on in the store quietly for long. I bought the book called "karma Sutra - The Ancient Indian Handbook of love making" and it doesn't take me long to finish this 580 pages long book because only 24 of them have pictures (I'm just trying to be efficient). Not really because I am illiterate or being lazy to skip all the words, it's because Indian wisdom and the language used in this book is more complicated and messier than my girlfriend's pubic hair. At the very first page it reads so:

"Man is divided into three classes, viz. the hare man, the bull man, and the horse man, according to the size of his lingam.
Woman also, according to the depth of her yoni, is either a female deer, a mare, or a female elephant."

Tew nia xing, what the hell is that!

(as in :WTF 唔知你講乜 唔知你搞乜 你條僕街根本系度混吉!! )

I did try to understand the wisdom and apply it to my maid at home the afternoon when she scratched my car while washing the dishes (yes. thats how the impossibles are made possible in the hands of Indonesian). I said "do you want me to Lingam your Yani with Smara then make you Pradipa the Anunga Runga before Artha your mother?!!!!" As usual she will never argue with me and just kept saying "yes sir, boleh sir, sorry sir". I think she's got the message, despite such conversation was conducted very internationally; Malaysian Chinese scolded an Indonesian using Indian words and she answered me in English.

I wasn't that interested to learn the 347 sexual positions because short penis man only can do few of them and I m quite contented already with "THE GAZELLE AND THE STALLION" position alone. However most of the things in the book didn't caught my attention, includes: these Indian whores all have big breasts, they featured both dark and fair skin Indians, they loved threesome, they do double penetration since 8000 years ago and lastly ladies are shaved or trimmed(this is confirmed by my good friend Benny the Muff Diver, he says natural Indian hair can never be any close to what is shown in these pictures).

However, there was one thing about this Karma Sutra bullshit that impresses me, that is the emotionless facial expression during sex that these people can attain. Which i think is something cool and pretty much gonna horn chicks - probably so good that the pros will even consider to give you discount after shaggin. Look at their faces, do you fuck like this!?

http://www.geniv.com/chinese-lyrics/LMF-Finalazy-1213.html

Modern Zoo

It has been a while i didn't visit zoo in this country, mainly becoz of the bad experience and impression i had in this lousy hobby. From what i remember and heard from friends and tourists, animals were skinny suffering from severe nutrient deficiency, signanges were wrong and often lead you to deadends. For some reasons they just don't have the brain juice to make it interesting like Singapore or even Thailand ones. Although it's not fair to compare to the overseas ones.... but hold on, if waterhead Thais do good zoo, not us.... well.... yea Malaysia zoo sucks big dick time! Some reptiles were kept at the back of dirty glasses and perhaps they intentionally do so so that we don't bother to see if the creatures in it are real or just fake pieces of toy bought from Jalan Pasar.

It is exactly the same shitty look as decade ago, dirty bushy landscape unshaven, fucked up foul smell toilet never been upgraded since Mao Tze Dong died. Mearly a 100 acre of fucked land operated by usual testicle headed agencies in this country. Animals were like highly doped with Marijuana telling us out there: "hey u fuck face, go to school and get a decent job, don't end up like me." The fuck show is so fucked that they performed some dumb stunts and thought its funny. Yea right - I wish the elephant really fucked him good, or at least pissed him a good "cum on face" show for me.

But lately i have found a new modern zoo in KL, something different . The animals were not chained but voluntarily caged in a semi open glass room. They are from mixture of few species, some look liked raccoon, some like pig, some like hairy monkeys. They all had to follow the movement of the fuck head standing in front, whom i think they call em instructor. Off course, in general such person shall be good looking and marketable figure - at least good enough to tell the pigs at the back "you all can be as good as me too" (long as u continue to pay us...... *evil. laughter*). Maybe it's a one sided mirror and these dumb asses didn't know we are watching them from outside - yes.. we know who's boobs is bigger!

Apparently these creatures were not captivated and forced in any means to be trained in this institution before sending here to perform. I talked to the front desks and found out these sohai actually have to pay to be trained in there! and guess what.... if u want formal training, gotta pay extra! but one thing is good, they voluntarily come every now and then and they are basically running on the basis of "you fuck paid, so cum as u want as if we give a shit". Some of these mofo even paid a lot to be lifetime member, 5 years or so forth.... man... these people are just more stupid than my mother in law! If you think may have gotten some incentives to perform for free and advertise for the company - ha shit wrong..... there are sucker bone everyday, most of them are here!

Honestly looking at these pathetic animals i do want to buy some peanuts and feed them. But the furious look of the fuck fat whore on 2nd row there just made me panic. So much so they are not chained up and anytime may run out and gang rape me. I wish them good luck and please don't stop this amusing performance for me to watch - next time please send more pigs with big tits here to perform, I may consider even masturbate in public for that.

Airport Runway

Last night i dreamed about my late father and his wives. he said to me the wrongest mistake he ever done in his lifetime was divorced the big tited Claire and marrying small breasts Alice. I do agree to a certain extend because I think my brain deficiency must have been caused by insufficient milk from Alice and she had to fed me with infant curry powder. this hallucinated conversation with my forefather hantu again inspired me to think on a important issue - is having small boobs a problem?

If clothing expresses beauty and elegance of a woman, then a model must be "perfect woman". I picked up the newspaper and turned to the fashion column featuring "new look" & "sunshine beauty" and these are what we've got and so called the best. I have no doubt this is not transsexual nor it's sissy software programmer dressed up like a woman, certainly this is a woman and she literally fits the Cantonese's description of it's kind as 太平公主, 洗杉板两颗钉 or 飞机场两粒沙. Doesn't matter if you are not familiar with Chinese, I have put a pictorial illustration as follows for your easier understanding.

Then i remembered couple of months ago there was some hongkong tabloid reporting Gillian Chung one of the cacat autistic duo-group singers TWINS had her titties shots snapped and published in a local soap opra magazine. The chick went kuku cried publically as if we care, and and induced a series of demonstration against celebrity voyeurism later. But the fuckest mystery of this matter is the whole shit was merely a waste of time and oxygen, who the fuck wants to see her boobs - as if she got any. It is certainly not hard to apprehend what i mean because i have again done for you a pictorial illustration.
I certainly not a person that sentimentalizes tabloid and make fun out of people's chest, but I do agree the society has been very cruel to women and making small tit's women felt they are so outcast in the marketplace. But being a socially responsible mofo, i have decided to spend my valuable 1/2 hour shitting moment this morning to come out the following TEN ADVANTAGES having small boobs:

1. Save money on bra
2. No embarrassment walked wrongly into Male's toilet
3. Can wear both sides of the singlet , tank tops and tubes.
4. Won't flash ur tits or "nip slip" while dodging down towards people (nothing anyway)
5. Use less soap while bathing (less surface area) and water runs smoother downwards faster than guys(coz without the weewee)
6. Less vibrating and rotating body parts while running
7. Easy to pass thru heavily human congested areas
8. Don't have to worry partner ask for tittie fuck
9. More comfy lay facing down sleeping or getting a sun tan.
10. Can read the numbers easier standing on weighing machines.

Tourist Guide to Pattaya, Thailand

Have not been to Thailand for very long long time and things may have changed much since last month. Right after arrived at the airport, got a quick 2 hour massage, 1/2 hour blow job, 3 jug of beer at titties bar and a foot massage by an Obasan with boobs bigger than my ass, First thing i did was picked up a free tourist guide at the hotel and start exploring further if any new shits in this fucked up east Thailand bay. looking at the cover, i would have thought girls are equally pretty as before and people are as friendly as before.

But i was damn Jolly bean wrong, in actual fact modern Pattaya women are nothing even close to the butt crack of a sumo wrestler, and they even ran out of decent stock to put on advertisement - this is the best you can expect. if the ones put up @ this tourist guide, the actual ones will be stunningly dinosaurous and equally penile dysfunctioning. Look at her... i woldn't want to fuck her even with a stolen dick !

But I'm amazed by some of the joint's name I came across along the streets, the Thais's English has improved a lot obviously and the are more candor in terms of expressing their business strategies, these are some interesting bar names: My Friend You Bar, Up to You, Tigglebitties, Office Girls. Some mystical ones are: Four man House, The Legless Arms & Shark Rider Bar. And the award winning names are: Cock well, Lick bar and Pussy Galore. Of course, I will never publicly confest that i would enter into any of this sinful dirty filthy socially demoralizing joints, but for a lame shitty town where not even having taxi nor tut tut service these are necessary economic activities to ensure constant cash flowing amongst the people and exchange of bodily fluid for better breeds. out of good will, i decided to contribute 200 Batt to this community to purchase a handjob service at a public phone booth by a shemale named Cindy Johnson - i wasn't sure should i say "sawatdee kah" to her or "Krab" to him, i just hope crabs doesn't transmit via finger.

Besides corporates, individuals are open minded and straight forward expressing themselves too, this is easily observed just by looking at the way they structure their sentences in their advertisements & classifieds; "we have attractive top models (male or female)". those who advertise themselves spelled out clearly their own attributes and type of the whore they wanted. some properties vendors truthfully telling you they wanted to sell their estate because of having some relationship problem. Marketing agents too are very honest to you type of services they provide and varieties of genders they offer.

Overall Pattaya has not changed much, beach view is nice, bitch view is cheap. these countrymen and women are used to deal with foreigners, don't bother to learn their language and speak to them in any languages - depends on what you want. Thai people don't understand a shit you say, they simply react and behave accordingly based on which country you appears to be from. according to a Senior Manager Mr. Hok Gao Hok Gao, an experienced local O Kuay Tau (aka pimp) there, Pattaya whores percieve their potential customers as follows:

• Malaysian / Chinese - cheap fuck who don't tip and ask for top discounts even for jerkoff service. but lucky they cum fast.
• American - ship man, pays decently, but does orgy anal - with another 3 American friends
• British - old dicks whom cant erect looking for companion only, either 40 years old or 15 years old prostitutes.
• Taiwanese / Korean - rich assholes easily get drunk and can be tied up and mugged easily.
• Hongkong-ian - travels in group, shy bunch and have sex wearing mask while another friend taping the process.
• Africans - wears plenty of jewelry and gold chains act like generous rich man - robs the pros after sex, auction their underwear at ebay, sell their nude photos to their villagemate.
• Indians / Bangladesh - RUN FOR LIFE (they cant differentiate Indians to Africans)

Overall prostitution is a very well respected job there, they pay tax and gets medical incentives from the government. you cant tell if they are real women or not, infact most of them are uglier than Raffidah Aziz. If you manage to get an erection and are concerned about the quality of rubber they have in their fake Fendi bags, bring your own from ur home country. there are good brands like DUREX sold @ 7-11 there too, but they are written in Thai, you wouldn't know if you have gotten TOM YUM or Curry Flavour. but worst would be - like any other shit you buy there, it could be a counterfeit or recycled rubber.

Waterhead

People called me waterhead since young, doesn't mean people hear bubbling sound while walking next to me or see my eyeballs roll around like surfing every now and then, but i think they meant it metaphorically. For some reason i have the supernatural capacity to see the wet side of things, wet as in juicy, but not horny, dirty but not obscene. Probably that's why I don't really get a lot of childhood friends because their fathers always think I'm a nasty bastard that influence others and tried not to allow their kids get too close to me. But this is not bad news at all because for the same reason these fathers get to spend more time with their kids at the playground and I get to spend more time with their wives elsewhere, that is exactly what Stephen Covey's idea of "think win-win" is about, and I'm certainly good at this.

Year in year out i have had many interesting observations on things around me that really made me wonder a lot and sometimes I wished I can make lots of money just by having stupid thoughts. Unfortunately the society that we live in doesn't promote kinky thoughts, but kinky act; you don't get paid by fantasizing having sex with your neighbor's Chihwahwa but when someone actually did a horse and sell it at http://www.zoodvdshop.com/ each tape will worth USD29.95. But well educated person like me will never do such a evil thing - simply because my penis doesn't have sufficient market value and view-ability.


Or it's just me? i wish i can find someone who doesn't have any evil thought of this piece of invention? No, I will certainly not associate this to any sexual act nor will have any dirty thought looking at the demo girl sitting on it. This is purely an invention for health conscious people and would like to achieve slimness in fucking lazy ways and i am not so sick to fantasize as woman riding a sybian (a type of electronically operated mechanical autoerotic saddle phallic-like attachments to induce enjoyment to PMS women).


I'm not sure if it's a mystical pyschic power or some form superhuman mutation i had in my genes. I tend to have the capability to read things between the lines, see stuffs between the cracks. If they say a picture worth a thousand words, then a wonder bra may meant three thousands pairs of titties to me. I remember my high school teacher used to praise me for my unique attention to her in the classroom, but people never realise what other circumstances can be more more juicy yet disciplinarily legitimate to be asked and told to concentrate on a woman's body, able to observe her every movements while she's just few feet before your eyes - and guess the color and type of underwear she was wearing. Off course, there are few of us in the school that has the same skills and we have full records of lingerie schedule vs teacher's name written down in our diaries. And yes, as the school encourages, we exchange these valuable notes with our other classmates and trust me we had lots of discussions too. if you want a copy of our record just email me yesiamdirtylittlepricktoo@hotmail.com


I always thought people were right about me that I'm a sick evil fuck who only good at garbage generation and waste of oxygen on this planet - not until i get to know him, this site and this community. But there is no economy value of people with extra ordinary hallucinating symptoms, this little brain capacity is nothing more than what whore often say "you pig" "dirty minded" or "horny pricks!". Maybe toilet waste like my breed is rare, and we shall be queueing up for incineration or landfill. oh yes, Landfill ... hey, have we not just found a reason to live?

Angry Woman

Everyone has bad days. Woman describes bad day as "rainy day" or she may say "I’m feeling blue" or "I’m so down today". There are few things that made a woman sad, maybe scolded badly by boss, maybe she couldn't’t find Parking at the mall ended up gone home and watch TV or maybe she tripped over dildo and cut her knee at home. But couldn't’t careless, every time we see depressed woman, we say "it must be her AV day!" (auntie visit).

We don’t really know why auntie visit is being associated to sad bitches, but we love annoying them with this joke for sure. Man can never understand how annoying a lady feels during her few happy days of the month, we wonder if they are sad because of the uneasy feeling of having a ultra thin green tea flavoured fiber with wings at the crotch area or they are angry because these were the few days that they cant have unity with the rabbit and it stays in the shoebox under the bed. We leave this part of they mystery to NASA space research centre, certainly is beyond our ordinary homosapien's intellectual capacity.

But if u think u know a lady is having her menses that day because she acted bitchy - that's damn wrong science too, because they are equally violent under the following circumstances too: missed the warehouse sales at MNG, busted by girl friends carrying a fake LV bag, felt "sinful" ate 2 pieces of pizza instead of just the crust and car park was taken by another male driver because she was reversing the car too slow.

But these are not problems at all, because we love angry women, they look prettier and sexier than normal pussy cats, especially when u put two of them together and they start linguistically challenging each other parents' vaginal condition. They may not have the necessary invasive vital organs but when one say "fuck u" and another will reflectively reply "fuck you too" - but what the heck, it will be 100% safe sex if at all they really perform it anyway, and also will be an extremely horny entertaining act for us who may have instigated the fight by simply telling one of them the other's tits is bigger than hers. Women are brave; on the contrary, if a fat big ass hunk with hairy chest challenges me saying "hey you yellow, fuck you!" I would just run for life and sms him 2 km away telling him "no thanks, would you consider my in law? she's the one with Nike cap on your right"

You may 've seen mad American wrestling women beat the labia majora out of each other on national TV, or even oil fights between well dressed Japanese girls in those fetish porns. You may also fantasized becoming Peter North and boned Tracy Lord in your mother in-law’s bedroom, but will never dream to see Asian woman turned kuku and perform Weng Choon on each other's faces. I’ve see fire I’ve seen rain, I’ve seen Paris Hilton swallowing jolly beans on bed and also Pamela Anderson wanked by tommy-tattooed-on-de'Jones on private boat; i have never thought i could see school girls on uniform swear and kungfu her classmate in group and two good looking whores fight in front of berjaya time square.

We love violent women, off course not those extreme ones whom have special interests to perform scrotal dissects or penile cesarean, we meant those women with little sense of fidelity and basic beastliest behaviors. This may meant all the moaning we have heard were act of fake orgasm, maybe women's true orgasm comes from kick'n nuts and not G-spot stimulation. Maybe, Johor school girls have set a new benchmark for local pornography, school bullies has become so juicy almost enough to become masturbating materials for college kids. Isn’t it a good news for the economy, we have just got one more thing to export and be famous in the international film arena.

Neighbor’s Underwear

Some people wake up and give thanks to the heaven that they are still alive and kicking, some wake up and yoga themselves into a meat ball and worshiped the sun, some wake up and inhale the chi of the morning dew and regurgitate deadly fume from dead sperms at the crotch. I wake up and have to see my neighbor’s TESCO outdated cheap underwear hanging over the fence.

The stuff that these women put on the fence gave me lots of evil thoughts that includes pouring pepper or curry powder to make these lovely women happy for few days and so forth. Of course water head like me whom easily get inspired literally by anything includes shit in the toilet bowl and women with 3 tits, won’t do things that is physiologically harmful to any women, hence I decided to blog these mother fuckers' bra which is a more civilized act in my humble opinion.

In order to get more insights from general opinions of other equally civilized fellow urban Malaysian I have even posted this matter into a low traffic super sux public forum, and the response was overwhelming. Within few days it has hit 1582 views and 42 responses. Of course these lame sites are often governed by few single ball short dick erectile dysfunctioned moderators whom are jobless and jerkoff over IKEA flyers in the kitchen every now and then, they closed the topic reckoned some of the comments were too obscene maybe because i mentioned the word TFK - they thought I was implying them.

But that is irrelevant, lets draw our attention to the comments by the respondents as how to handle issues of this kind. Besides 5 respondents whom still fantasized that we live in a free country and candor will not lead to an axe on ur forehead, they recommended confrontation with the bitches whom own these Jalur Gemilang out there assuming these are civilized whore whom understand public Modesty. I have to solute and give credit to some of the following creative rakyat Malaysia whom are sensible, goal getter and very needed citizen to achieve 2020 given much valuable opinions as follows:

Naka says: "...count the number of hangings and buy 4D."
Sugarfree says : "....pretend to salivate while admiring their bras & panties..."
Bridy says: "...put some syrup to make them sweet!"
Geordie says:".....buying more trendier smalls for her.....set a new benchmark on the spirit of neighborliness."
usj17-resident says: "1) Burn some old newspaper near the `hangings' so that the soot will fly & land on them 2) Empty your vacuum cleaner's dust bag next to the `hangings' 3) Hang your car mats, dirty floor mat, etc next to & on top of the `hangings' 4) Pretend to water your garden, then spray on those `hangings'
More nasty suggestion: 1) Burn those hangings.
Perverted suggestions: 1) Take a chair & sit down there looking at it (make sure they see you ogling at it.2) Pretend to want to touch it or steal it (they must be seeing you)"

All these are necessary opinions and show how fellow Malaysian should treat their neighbors in our Malaysian's ways. I pray that these people with good ideas will live long and their children need not to pay toll anymore and stop spending their valuable time at fuck sites like this, this and this. Lastly, I will remain silence and be a typical anonymous chicken shit neighbor and explore all the above suggested possibilities to make these bra owners continue to have enjoyable living next to me.

http://www.fetishdollies.co.uk/ pictures shown are for illustration purpose, actual ones upon requests and only if author gives a shit. some of the photo shown may be publicly disturbing and cut pasted from unknown websites with no approval from any fuckers at all. if it may have caused unnecessary annoyance to any mofo, sorry and go fuck yourself.

Red Sonja - An Inspiriing Piece of Shit

Abraham Maslow says let the farmer farm and let the musician sing and that is self-actualization. Lately I had my moment of enlightenment too. One night after highly intoxicated with alcohol at Aloha Disco-pub, i went into the toilet to attempt regurgitate indigestible excess protein from my stomach. While I’m positioning myself the usual "pre-vomit prayer posture" (i.e. kneel down, hug toilet bowl, face down and shoot) - I discovered the earlier user didn't flush. he left behind a very unusual 'O' looped shape shit partially submerged in blood stained water trap. I knew it's blood and not undigested dragon fruit because there are toilet paper with blood stains on them. My heart goes out to this person and i wished his ass get well soon. The scene before my eyes made me pondered for long and I recalled the last i kneel down and pray was hoping Susan will not get pregnant because we had a deep throat session without rubber.

That piece of shit made me thought of an important problem and the answer to this may be more stunning than the the origin of mankind - human has no control over his own shit ! Have we ever thought about this biggest irony in life? You may say otherwise because u think you can control ur diet and hence producing different shit, for example drink more coffee makes black shit and excessive curry powder makes yellowish ones along with sever pain at the butt hole. But don’t forget you can control when to eat, but u have no control when to shit - it comes when it feels like to come.

Perhaps there are exceptional ones, like those with supernatural power in the TV series HEROs, whom can control his stooling time as precise as tourbillon 8888 Franck Muller Swiss watch, but still - this person may not able to control the length and the size of the stool. We only hear people say 'hey I wanna take a shit now' but u never hear him say ''I’ll be out in 5 min 27 seconds, and I expect to produce two pieces of 3" stool along with three 1/2 inch ones" That has never happened before in real neither in "Ripley’s believe it or Not".

I recalled the upward cone shaped shit which normally movies and cartoon portrait; which now I realized human is never able to make any great looking piece of good shit of this kind like Ice Cream Cone - not even if you have worked in McD for a decade and able to swirl your ass while sitting on the toilet bowl. Some may say "hey practice make perfect" I say : "Fuck you, your ego and your mother in law too!" Say if an average a person shits once a day, by the age of 28 he already shit ten thousand times and yet he is still unable to produce a single piece of foot long stool despite our intestine is 17 feet long. So much so some may have slow bowel movement and only shit as often as he masturbates- let alone dream to make a V shaped stool. Taking a dump is such an inspiring matter and it should be categorized as a form of modern art and shall be included in school syllabus.

This subject matter is equally amusing linguistically, think about this, do we realise we have plural for shit? don't we say 1 shit and 2 shits? piece of shit and pile of shit? Chinese says troublemakers are 搅屎棍 'shit stirrer' we normally say trouble spill over as "shit hits the fan" *note: singular*. Then 'pieces of shits fly around' *note: plural*. We describe smart lunsi people as "full of shit", when you were caught bangging ur maid at the kitchen we say "you are in deep shit" and off course, normally right after your realise wife saw you, you would have already said "shit!"

The more I ponder on this intriguing subject, louder the door banging sound from the guy queuing outside the cubicle, he shouted "屌你老母臭花屄冚家剷七撚懵懵屌鳩爆你屎忽窿, 乜鳩事你哦锁链啊!？" (as in: '...*names of some vital organs*...are you shitting chain?'). I have almost forgotten there are needy personnel out there waiting for their turn to shit. I felt really sorry to this arousing ‘O’ shit that had inspired me much about the above said thoughts, but if I don’t flush it away the next chap will think that I’m a sotong with leaky blood ass whom left behind this hemorrhoidal blood decorated shit.

In order for me to remember this great heroic piece of art, I decided to give it a name – Red Sonja. A name that I will recall every time I see any inspiring stool striving to swim & remain floating trying hard not to get flushed away in any toilet bowl. At the end, I had to flush Red Sonja away in tears – farewell my heroine and go in peace in one peace, go join your fellow WC comrades broken needles, tampon and ecstasy pills.

Evil Thoughts at ATM

Sometimes we do funny little things in life, which can be very annoying to others but they are totally fine in your opinion - like read out loud the passkey pressed by the guy standing in front of u at the ATM.

Off course if you are more subtle person, you do other things, like have a peep over his shoulder and see how stupid his name is spelled "welcome to Maybank - Mr. Tew Na Sheng" and giggle loud enough for him to hear.

But if you want to live longer not getting beaten up at the ATM, you can commence another stupid act after the fella left the machine - try to pick up his receipt and see how much money left in his account. I do this all the time. I have been collecting on random basis these ATM receipts for the past 3 years, and few things i found in common amongst these receipts. firstly, most of them are left with no more than RM120 in their account. secondly the owners of these accounts has the same lame looser fucked up single digit IQ ass look keep reducing their withdrawal amount from RM 800 to Rm200 then to Rm50 - as low as the balance permits.

Probably there are reasons to this little observation that i happens to have the lamest brain space left to meditate on. People with lots of money left, they will never leave their receipts there at the ATM, or maybe for those have balanced more than RM500 they will be so afraid to leave behind any trails despite the receipts are encrypted to avoid any single chances getting robbed this insignificant clitoris sized amount of life savings left in the bank. Or maybe rich people don't go to ATM because they only pay by credit.

It is therefore i think ATM machine goers are generally lazy poor bum middle class earning chicken feet salary living from hand to mouth and blog during office hour when boss is not around. Next time do like I do, look at those ATM slips there left on top of the machine, if u ever see any one's with balance more than RM150 - it's your lucky day to buy lottery.

The Gardens at Mid Valley City - OPENED !!! - not really

How disappointing ! Not too sure what does it mean by "official opening" anymore. Retail lots is about 60% occupied only, contractors are running around fixing things up, toilets are not fully functional, tiles are dirty and not polished yet. The worst - walk way from the existing mall towards the new entrance is so roughly done up with temporary canvas canopies with Jalan Pasar's light fitting (they may not realise those bulbs may overheat and cause fire). Before you enter the mall, you will likely see those ugly back lanes of the boulevard shop lots - another mood spoiler.


Escalators and elevators are 80% finished - they are working and nicely decorated, but fittings are not all put up at the moments. Handrails are beautifully designed, but for now are all unpolished and not all are fitted up. Reminds me of Subang Parade, this mall has interlink walkways on every floors that made you cross over between shops much easier. And few of these link bridges are brilliantly lighted up from the glass floor panel beneath- but sorry, closed for the time being for some reasons.


There are some shops that you must have a look - not Robinsons (which is just another downgraded international brand like Marks and Spencer and Debenhams in KL). Attentions shall be drawn to some beautifully done up outlets like Coach, Banana Republic, Armani Exchange, Chow Tai Fok and another must go - La Senza ! Not that they are rare branches here in KL, but because these lots in The Gardens has comparatively larger floor area than those elsewhere, so you can see more varieties and can dwell longer in them. There may be more exciting brands there, but i just don't want to walk any further to further explore defects and imperfections to this great mall like found out Starbucks is located at end of the mall - so inappropriate. Which i guess, there should be a link bridge build to link from this end towards the existing mall, again work in progress.

However, there are some unique features about this mall that deserves some attention, they have some live muscial performances there at the lobby, cozy entrance lounge with seats (i don't know for what use except waste of prime letable space). Magnificent wall lights blends with skylights which is perfect view for fine dinners at the top floor. Most of the retail lots are big hence will have less shops - which is unique. there may be more fine dining outlets at the basement, but for now, only few are there.

Someone did put some fine touche at floor tiles, some pieces are fitted with the 'leaf' patterns, this little things does justify the parking fee i paid. I looked up the concourse atrium, decorations are very well done up and the dark sides of the dome ceilings are fitted with some techno lighting that changes color like starry night. Unfortunately, the 'windows' at the side are still covered with canvas, indicating - work in progress.


All in all, this is certainly a great place to shoppe in the future and should give shoppers a whole new experience in terms of brand mix, mall interior design, circulation, parking and so forth. You can feel that lots of efforts has been poured into the conceptualization of The Garden, however the execution seemed very delayed and disappointing at this moment. My advise - only go 3 months later when they may have pretty much fixed up EVERYTHING and there is no reason for you to rush there to spoil ur mood now. Like how most of us waited to watch good movies at cinema instead of watching em from rough quality pirate DVDs - go Tesco for the time being.

Testicle and Girlfriend

Man uses physiological metaphors to illustrate their works. Say a business man stroked a successful business negotiation, you'll hear him say: "I fucked a good deal!" On the other hand for some rough ones hey will say: "The deal was rotten" or "I had my throat cut." In the event where an employee was busted for some wrong doings with evidence, we will say he was "caught with his pants down," similarly this is used to illustrate when a lousy business decision was made left with no options. When a person has to declare his bottom line to the client in order to beg for an order with slim profit margin, he will tell you "I was stripped naked"

Amongst the norm, there is one all time heavy weight champion classic quote being used to illustrate a situation when someone was put into a very unfavorable business circumstances that not only he had to accept an extremely bad offer, he may have to suffer great losses from this decision - "my balls were squeezed!"

Interestingly only Man speaks like that, you will never hear from any woman complained about bad circumstances saying "I had my breasts grabbed!" This can be equally as painful as ball crunching, but the fact is that no one has ever done any official scientific research on this matter. You can try Google for "degree of prostrate and natal pain suffering from external compression," unlikely you will find anything meaningful except leads u to some BDSM websites. Despite the absence of factual studies, we (at least for men) strongly believed that nothing can be more detrimental to 'man'kind than having his testicle suffered from any form of damages. Imagine you received a call "hey, Jim had his skull cracked during a fall" compare to "HEY, Jim had his balls cut" - such news will make any strong man to weep, every scrotum to shrink.

How painful can it be having your balls crunched, is that a fact or just a myth? Idea of performing a physical attack on a man's crotch area is generally what worldwide female self defence gurus teach the women. In fact, there is an official kung fu name given to this piece of art - "Scrambled Eggs & Testicle Kick;" unlikely someone can make a movie out of this because this doesn't rhyme and sound as well as "hidden dragon and crotching tiger." Kick ball to save life - looks like it works well in the movie, but is it that real that it can deter man from any further harmful act? Karma Sutera advises scrotum pulling may delay ejaculation, but harming the ball may not stop an erection.

Hollywood made many heroic movies based on crippled, blind, or even cognitively impaired, but never a ball-ess hero; this is another passive perspective to appreciate how un-man-ly it can be to loose one's testicle. During the most unhappy moments in our lives, the most we may just shout out loud "I'm fucked!" but we’ll never hear a man say "i’m loosing my balls!” That is because subconsciously a man is still OK even getting boned in the ass and bleed for 6 weeks - long as the balls are still intact.

But if our testicles are so important, how come we never pay much serious attention to them? How often we check if they are still there or do we still remember which one is hung higher than the other? Man worries so much how he converse, how well he dresses up to work and even how stylish he sits, but he never think if the testicles are properly positioned and clothed that day. Put it this way, if Man really cares about testicles protection, how come testicle bras has never become a mainstream fashion for man? In fact, testicle has never played any important role in sex (at least physically), further more they are perceived as 'distraction' or 'obstacles" by film directors.

Maybe the whole thing about this "ball negligence syndrome" is just a mirror of man's natural ironical-prioritization-sickness. Besides vital reproductive organs, Man takes important things for granted, such as relationships, personal well being and physical health. Man treat his testicles like girlfriend - we knew they are soft, fragile and need attention, but we often choose to ignore their presence and contributions that made us who we are. It is so irony that we ignore this component despite being so close to us, knowing the fact that loosing them will be the most painful experience in a man's life.

Dear Man, whenever you can, hold ur balls and just be grateful to heaven that they are still in tact. Love your balls like your girlfriends and please handle with care. Peace.

http://www.femdomfetishblog.com/, http://www.forumspile.com/, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Scream, http://www.ballbra.com/